Being a fan and a user of modern technology, my Dad has
always had a certain attraction for tablets, smartphones, and computers of all
sorts. What is interesting though, is that the first question my dad always
asks when dealing with any new device is: “Where is the delete button?”
I always found that rather strange and off course, however,
my dad always insist on learning how to delete software, e-mails, messages,
applications, etc. It is like he has a passion for deleting things out of his
devices. We have even created a family inside joke where each time my dad
touches a new device we ask “Where is the delete button?”
At one point I couldn’t help but ask my dad why it was
important for him to know how to delete things. My dad’s answer was: “Anything
that is needless or useless only becomes an extra burden on the device, when
more and more useless things accumulate, the device will slow down and
eventually start malfunctioning”, then he added “Son, you need to do the same
with life matters if you want to live happily”.
My dad’s words got engraved in my mind and for a long time I
gave this some serious thinking; it is normally not easy for us to let go of
things or people. We tend to hold on to memories of all sorts, dwell on
annoying and negative matters and get emotionally attached places, belongings,
and individuals, even if we know that this attachment is not a healthy one.
Successful people know the trick to avoiding and getting read of such an
overload of negative, useless factors, be it emotions, material things, or even
people in our lives; they know when to press the Delete button.
Below are what I call
the I.F.D steps to identifying, filtering and deleting all the daily stress
causers and negativity magnets that if undetected, will pile up in our subconscious
and cause us to malfunction:
1. Identify
Many times we feel annoyed, upset, or nervous
but we can’t really put our fingers on the reason behind this feeling. All we
know is that we are in a “Don’t touch” mode and are ready to backfire at anyone
who talks to us.
It is extremely important that we isolate
ourselves when such feelings are taking over and turn our identification meter
on to verify the reason(s) behind this feeling. We can simply go over the
events that happened with us for the day or earlier than that when needed and
scan every moment until we identify the real reasons that caused us to feel
this way.
2. Filter
Now that you have put your fingers on a
reason or a list of reasons that are causing the stress or the negative feeling,
it is time to ask yourself and answer a set of questions that will help you
filter and narrow down that list to the minimum that you need to focus on. I
always find the following questions to be useful in guiding me to what I need
to filter out:
·
Is this issue / person in
the circle of control or no control?
·
Did I understand the issue
/ person correctly?
·
Is there anything that I
can do now to change this situation?
·
Is this issue / person of
any value or meaning to me?
·
Is this issue / person
standing in the way of my growth and progress?
3. Delete
Once you have answered the questions
mentioned earlier you will be able to better decide what issues you can simply
delete and not occupy yourself with.
My advice to you is not to sweat the small
things. Life is wonderful and it gets even better when we know when to use the
delete button.
Thank you dad for teaching me how and when to
delete what I don’t need.
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